Recollections & Desires
( Note : The first 6 lines have been taken from the ending song of the anime Bleach )
Nobody knows who I really am.
I never felt this empty before.
And if I ever need someone to come along,
who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong ?
And still, the journey goes on,
even on tranquil days so long.
Yet my feelings shrink and wither,
expressible no longer ;
in this deep darkness, I am getting lost.
No one to talk, nowhere to go,
This is where I live, apart from the world,
This is my world...
Still there's something out there
which calls out to me,
piercing my heart and clutching my hand,
to pull me back to the place which I have left ;
Memories rush through my mind,
some which were lost and others forgotten,
happy and joyful, brimming with emotions running high,
moments I wished to cherish for life.
Now as the stars rise in the midnight sky,
a longing fills me, to shine with them.
Away from this world, away from myself,
in the midst of the pale blue shimmering stars,
lost in the softness and warmth of their glow.
I reach out to the bright diamonds in the sky,
The place I want to be in, the place of my dreams.
Well, here ends my first attempt. Hope it's, at least, tolerable ! ^_^
Hmm... one more thing I have already almost completed another poem, which I hope I would be uploading soon. Till then, please R & R !!!
Nobody knows who I really am.
I never felt this empty before.
And if I ever need someone to come along,
who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong ?
And still, the journey goes on,
even on tranquil days so long.
Yet my feelings shrink and wither,
expressible no longer ;
in this deep darkness, I am getting lost.
No one to talk, nowhere to go,
This is where I live, apart from the world,
This is my world...
Still there's something out there
which calls out to me,
piercing my heart and clutching my hand,
to pull me back to the place which I have left ;
Memories rush through my mind,
some which were lost and others forgotten,
happy and joyful, brimming with emotions running high,
moments I wished to cherish for life.
Now as the stars rise in the midnight sky,
a longing fills me, to shine with them.
Away from this world, away from myself,
in the midst of the pale blue shimmering stars,
lost in the softness and warmth of their glow.
I reach out to the bright diamonds in the sky,
The place I want to be in, the place of my dreams.
Well, here ends my first attempt. Hope it's, at least, tolerable ! ^_^
Hmm... one more thing I have already almost completed another poem, which I hope I would be uploading soon. Till then, please R & R !!!
posted by Jade Phoenix at 10:07 AM
2 Comments:
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Kewl! Ur poetry is a gr8 blend n I especially luv the last para...well, I m not quite used to review things, so I can't be very critical but I found this phrase "piercing my heart" a bit overdone..it didnt seem to suit the other words used along with it, it seems too harsh suddenly..And in the second para, the third line didnt need 'yet'(he he thats a pretty dumb thing too point out but I m trying 2 b as much critical as possible^_~)N a thing more..dont u think dat u r contradicting things in the 2nd n the last para..just luk at the last three lines of both of them..1st u r sayin u r all alone in ur own world, apart from everyone...n then in the last para u say that u wanna b in ur own world of dreams..think abt it..n pls enlighten me if I misunderstood something. Sayonara!
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